I can’t believe it’s almost time for you to go. It feels like you greeted me just yesterday with a sense excitement and trepidation that only you could bring from the start. I celebrated your arrival. I looked forward to the milestones you’d bring. I worried about the consequences of the unknown. I tried to live this year one day at time. I planned and failed to do the same. I accepted victories and got frustrated by defeat.
You marked the end of a journey and the beginning of a dream. I knew you’d be a big deal back in 2008. You were my last graduation year – the culmination of almost a decade of semesters filled with tears, self-doubt, procrastination, almost failures, support, and determination. You reminded me of the difference between pursuing passion and seeking security.
Once the pomp and circumstance quieted to a whisper, you forced change on me. You made me question my comfort zone and pushed the limits of my emotional boundaries. You rattled me with the force of an earthquake. My foundations were exposed and had to withstand pressures they’d never felt before. You taught me to look inward; coaxed me into trusting myself and the lessons I’ve learned thus far. You unmasked my vulnerability and told me it was okay to show her face. Sometimes.
You taught me to take care of myself. I’ve learned to balance the needs of others without sacrificing my own. You helped me find my voice.
You did a lot of good, but you delivered your share of pain, too. You forced me to confront death. I’ve mended and ended relationships because you said it was time.
I’m grateful for making it this far with you. I’m looking forward to meeting 2012 and seeing what it has in store for me. I’m not going to rush you away. You weren’t always easy to deal with, but every year brings its own trouble. Thank you for the good and the bad. Thank you for the laughter and tears. Thank you for forcing me on the journey I resisted for so long. Thank you for confusion and clarity.
I’m not going to talk about resolutions and such. Just know that I will be better with 2012 than I was with you. I haven’t figured out all the specifics yet, but like me, that list is a work in progress.
Here’s to a year gone. Here’s to another chance get this life thing right.